I want it to be the way it was a year ago. When I didn't have to deal with this, when everyone was still a school. When I didn't have so much pain and regret. To feel untroubled and not worried. To not have a care, I want to feel that once more.
I close my eyes and it's there. The sound of her voice saying that it's going to be okay. Saying that she is truly happy. But how can I believe this voice when she is being drowned out with my screams of anger and distrust? How can I trust someone who has let me down? How can I get through this?
Music is alway there. It helps me forget everything, if only for 3 minutes. But that is 3 minutes where my thoughts are silent. 3 minutes where I can breathe.
The Melody drifts through the corridors of my mind. Filling my very soul.
I forget everything. Focus on the song. Slipping into the effortless fall of the notes. Every piano key, every string of the guitar, every word that is sung, I feel myself forget.
But then the song ends, along with my peace. I fumble for my ipod, hurriedly trying to press repeat. But it's too late, the thoughts take their chance and invade my mind. Screaming to me. Reminding me of what I long to forget. I shakily press the button, and once again my head is filed with silence, and once again I fall....effortlessly.....into peace.
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